Conceive your family to Eat a Lot of Tofu.
Greetings and welcome to Evil Week, our yearly exploration of all the slightly dubious hacks we would normally advise against. We have all the information you need to be successfully unsavoury, whether your goal is to play intricate mind ga...
Greetings and welcome to Evil Week, our yearly exploration of all the slightly dubious hacks we would normally advise against. We have all the information you need to be successfully unsavoury, whether your goal is to play intricate mind games, gain free drinks, or, er, launder some cash.
Your family poses a greater threat than tofu. Although the last ten years have seen an increase in the acceptance and popularity of this jiggly soybean beauty, some misinformed family members still believe it to be bland, wimpy, or disgusting. (Yes, it is unremarkable, but in a nice way. Teach your family to appreciate tofu by deceiving them into consuming more of this delicious food. Here are some clever ways to sneak in a lot of tofu at meals without being noticed. (Of course, you monster, do not mislead eaters who have genuine soy allergies. ( ).
Whoa, that's cheese.
A variety of textures are available for tofu: soft or silken, medium, firm, extra firm, slightly pressed and marinated, or fried. Tofu can pretend to be something else, like cheese, thanks to its variety of textures.
Cheese is favored by all. That means your meatballs with lots of crumbly "cheese" will be a hit with even your pickiest family members. Take a half-block of extra firm tofu and drain it while you're preparing your meat mixture. Press the tofu between a few layers of paper towel to remove any remaining water. Crush the tofu as finely as possible with a fork or your hands. The crumbles can be added to the meat mixture unseasoned or seasoned with soy or Worcestershire sauce. The tofu will not only help to stretch your mixture and prevent the meatballs from getting too tough, but it will also result in more meatballs.
Cook the meatballs as you would normally, with rice or pasta and red or brown gravy. This updated version of your well-known meatballs is sure to please your family. But don't stop there—add it to any meal that calls for cheese. For casseroles, lasagna, or eggs, crumble firm tofu. "Oh that? That's cheese," you can casually reply when someone inquires about the dish's white crumbles. Prepare a few examples of crumbly cheese, such as feta, queso fresco, cottage cheese, ricotta, or cotija, or use a corny term like "frying cheese.". Go right on to discussing the household tasks they still haven't completed.
Desserts made with tofu are amazing. Even through a critical lens, I can say that tofu desserts are excellent, even though I generally like tofu. Moreover, they are typically simple to put together and require no baking. The key here is silken or soft tofu. Because of how delicate this kind of tofu is, it practically comes out of the package tasting like pudding. Certain recipes, such as this spicy cold tofu, are so good that all you have to do is dress it up with sauce.
Tofu requires more preparation than just throwing it out of the package, though. This dark chocolate peanut butter pie is a dessert that will win over even the most ardent tofu critic. Pour room temperature silken tofu into a pie crust and toss with melted chocolate, honey, peanut butter powder, and a few spices. In order to achieve flawless slices and a clean cut, the chocolate in the mixture solidifies in the refrigerator.
Try pudding for a quicker, more casual dessert. Silken tofu can be blended with nearly any flavor and ingredient to create a rich, decadent pudding that is still tasteful. For chocolate pudding, try adding honey and cocoa powder; for "banana cake" pudding, try adding bananas, cinnamon, and maple syrup. Add a few spoonfuls of jam to make a vibrant fruity pudding.
Are you wondering when it's time to come clean? Well, you could hide this evil secret for all time, but I believe the time will come. After a few weeks or years, your family will start asking for their "favorite meatballs" every night. When your kids move away to college, they may ask you for the recipe for that pudding because they are in need of some comfort food. They're prepared to admit they adore tofu at this point. It's always the case.
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